Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Imagine...spirituality of writing


I happened on a television program tonight, Imagine...Jeanette Winterson: My Monster and Me. As they talk about inspiring writers and a love of books I have felt a need to write. Jeanette's life story is an interesting one of struggle and rejection. A sense of shame, despair, and self destruction and a way of coping through the world of books. Her creativity and use of English language is apparent through her spoken world. A working class girl, who despite it all managed to study at Oxford University. In February 2008 Jeanette tried to end her life. Her cat scratching her face as she passed out through carbon monoxide poisoning in her garage saved her life. As she came through she spoke out the scripture, 'You must be born again.' Her adopted mother, Mrs Winterton, would quote scripture at her as a child. The same Mrs Winterton who threw her out the house, and mistreated her. The mother who rejected her because of her sexuality. Jeanette seems not to hold any bitterness of her childhood choosing to forgive.

I haven't read any of Jeanette's work but I intend to. I love books. I always have. The smell, the texture of the page, the woven stories that they contain. There is nothing like a good book. As a child I always had books to read.  Paper to write and draw on and on my birthday, if I was lucky, a new pallet of paints. I have been trying to find the creative Jo that exists within me. The blogging has helped but there seems to be more creativity wanting to find expression some how. I don't yet know what form that will take only that I journey with God as I rediscover that what has been dormant for so long. There is a story to be shared and new ones to be created.   

Mrs Winterton wanted her daughter to be a missionary. Jeannette says, "She did get what she wanted because, I am, but just not for Jesus.. its for the power of the word. I suppose even that is something of what she wanted because it does begin, doesn't it,  'in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God' and I suppose the word is God to me." The Word and the word collide for me. I am an ambassador for both. There is something about exploring my own spirituality by writing about it. Sometimes you don't know what you think until the pen hits of the paper, or the fingers hit the keys of the laptop. Potential is never realized until you step out in faith and give it a go. 

Out of the mist expression appears
brush strokes on a page,
words formed and made.

Out of my mind the world collides
acts of a play dance,
film credits surprise.

Out of the night sky suddenly falls
darkness and light,
humanity dawns.

Out of my heart emotions erupt
read and you find me,
ignore and I'm lost.