Lent 2014 - 2nd April: Spiritual Direction

 

 

As I have written these blogs on simple pleasures I have tried to write about something I have found pleasurable and want to give thanks for that has happened that day. Today I met with my Spiritual Director so today's simple pleasure is Spiritual Direction. Sometimes our spiritual life can be very arid. It is like walking through a desert with the sun beating down and no sense of where we should be headed. I am blessed to have a number of good friends who I can call on to pray for me. For a long time I wondered about having a Spiritual Director to accompany me on my spiritual walk. About a year ago I decided God had been nagging me long enough and that I should give it a go. I am so glad that I did. I have been truly blessed. 

It is easy to loose our way in the desert sometimes we need help in finding the way and seeing the signs of where God is in our life. Sometimes we need someone to challenge us and help us to face up to difficult questions. Sometimes when our spiritual life gets boring and routine we need someone to suggest knew ways of connecting with God. I feel that I have been wandering through the desert of life for a while now. Trudging through sand is tiring and can be lonely. It is then when we need our praying friends all the more. It is the time when we need God but can't always see how closely he walks along side us for the sand that is blowing in our faces and getting in to our hair. I started spiritual direction because I wanted to refocus on God and my spirituality and to draw strength from that in order to get through the hard times. Yes, this is normally for a Christian but I wanted to be more definite about it. Whilst I may have to continue to walk through the desert a little while longer, and no doubt it is a place I will revisit at some stage in my life, I can see signs of new life beginning to break through. There are streams of living water in the desert but sometimes we need help in finding them and drinking from the cool waters. 

There is nothing magical about spiritual direction but there is something more precious than that for me that I can't quite put into words. It is something holy. A divine appointment. As I look back on the thoughts and feeling that have been shared, the tears and the laughter, I know that my journey has been made easier through sharing. A big thank you to my spiritual director, you know who you are. Thank you for sharing your gifts with me and encouraging me along the way. Thank you for believing in me.

Who Am I? The spiritual search continues

Wednesday was a busy day for me. In the morning I went to Billesdon in Leicester for some newly qualified minister (NAM) training arranged by the East Midlands Association. Then it was back home to put together a Bible study on Women in the Bible, vacuum the lounge (a must with two cats), eat tea, and lead the house-group. I think working a 13 hour day was a bit of a mistake but nevertheless an enjoyable one. 

The house-group is newly formed and has been, until now, an all female affair. It was perhaps ironic that we welcomed our first man to the group given our study topic. I shared some of my experience of what it was to be a female minister and the gender inequality that existed in the church as well as reflecting on why we don't hear so much about the women in the Bible. 

Who am I? is a good question to ask. I am no-one special really, just me, but I am a women with a call to ministry ingrained on my heart. Sometimes I would like to escape that, and indeed I have tried to deny the calling, run away from it (for over 10 years), given it back to God, fought it, and eventually given in and followed that calling. It has not been, and isn't easy but this is part of who I am.

Earlier in the day at the NAMs training we looked at the subject of spirituality, a topic close to my heart. The sessions were taken my Revd Dr Tim Mountain who has just been appointed as a tutor at Northern Baptist Community. His teaching was excellent and I am sure he will be a great blessing to the college.

After spending time in worship we looked at some definitions of spirituality, such as that from Alistair McGrath (Christian Spirituality, Blackwell, 1999).

Christian spirituality concerns the quest for a fulfilled and authentic Christian existence, involving the bringing together of the fundamental ideas of Christianity and the whole experience of living on the basis of and within the scope of the Christian faith.

For me spirituality is about the way in which I connect and engage with the living God, be it in the still small voice that makes the hair on my arms stand on end, or the vastness of the Grand Canyon that reminds me of how awesome God is. God speaks to us in lots of different ways but we have to take time to listen to and experience God for ourselves. 

We looked at the criteria for Christian spirituality, such as, our core beliefs about who God is, and our 'rule of life' (our regular routines that maintain our relationship with God), and the different ways that we engage with God noting that whilst we may do that in many different ways we all have a preferred method. For me connecting with God comes most naturally through nature, normally pottering around in the garden. Even today's half an hour of pulling up weeds helped me to pray and to focus better on God and what really mattered. I think I might do this every Friday when I am trying to write my Sunday sermon!

After a little discussion on spiritual direction and whether we have a spiritual director (I do), we were invited to take part in several spiritual exercises. It was good to have some time to spend alone with God. For me the following exercise entitled 'Who am I?' was the highlight of the day, although the worship was pretty fantastic.

• Choose an object that suggests something of who you are and the journey you are on.
• Reflect on the reasons you have chosen it.
• Do you think you would have chosen it a few years ago? Why?
• Express your thoughts and feelings to God in prayer - perhaps silently or by writing them down.

           (The purpose of the exercise is to reflect on the person God is at work on.)

This is a picture of my choice of objects, well some of them. There were also an onion I was tempted by but here is my choice. I later found found Tim had chosen the same object when he had done the exercise a few years ago. 

So who am I? What are the similarities between what I chose and who I am and the spiritual journey I find myself? 

• It is bright, cheerful, and fun. So am I, most of the time.
• It has an empty space needing to be filled. I have a need to be constantly filled with the Holly Spirit.
• It has a wiggly line around it. Life and my walk with God is full of highs and lows or as I like to refer to them as hills and valleys.
• It has a bit of a chip. Like me it is not perfect.
• There is a red line around it which reminds me of the blood of Christ and the healing that he brings me.
• There is a green line around it - my mind turned to being sea sick for some reason. Life can be so hectic. It makes me dizzy and a little sea sick at times. I guess I am also a little green behind the ears as a NAM.
• There is a brown colour at the bottom of the mug which reminds me of the earth. I am earthed and rooted in Christ who is my foundation. 
• The cup reminded me of the women at the well (I preached on this last week). Jesus asked for a drink but he had no bucket or cup to put the water in. After meeting Jesus she went into the town and said, 'Jesus knew everything about me.' God knows everything about me.
• As I selected the mug one of my friends laughed. I asked them why and they said because of the obvious. I wonder if people do think i am a mug sometimes, perhaps I am for following this calling. Others may think I am a mug but actually I am the carrier of the cup of the Lord, offering others a drink of living water.  

Would I have chosen this a few years ago? No, probably not. In my other life (pre-ministry training) I was a financial adviser so I would probably have chosen a calculator or something similar. Have a look at the photo above, or around your home, pick something to represent you and do the above exercise. There are no right or wrong answers just be open and engage with God. Feel free to post your comments and let me know how you get on.  

Who am I? The spiritual search continues. I like to think I am very self-aware but there is always something new to discover about what makes me the person I am and indeed who I am in Christ.   

     

Monkeys, trees and friends

Catching up with friends is always good. Whether it is walking and talking looking at trees at the arboretum or monkeying around at Bristol Zoo. No man, or indeed woman, is an island we all need friends and family to love us and to support us in what we are doing. Even God realized he could not live alone and chose to live in community with Jesus and the Holy Spirit as part of the Trinity. God extends the hand of love which He reaches out to humanity asking for us to live in community with Him. Some of us fully embrace His out stretched arms, others turn and run the other way or simply fail to see Him. You can be the most loving person in the world but what use is that love if you cannot share it with another? You can be the funniest person in the world, but what use is laughter when you have no one to laugh with? Love and laughter are better shared. So too are tears and heartache. Spirituality is about drawing close to God and sharing our love, our laughter, our highs and our lows and all our longings with God. But there is also something about sharing it with others. The church is the community of God. It is the people rather than the building. It is the church's responsibility to offers the hand of God to those who do not know Him. But yet so often it fails to do this. I long for a church that embraces the outcast, that is in touch with the real world and wants to get their hands dirty. Am I living in a dream world? Or is this a vision of the Kingdom of God?

I have been blessed this last week by monkeys, trees and more importantly some very good friends. I have laughed at the monkeys, stood in awe at the trees and have shared these experiences with friends who have also hugged and loved me. So where is God in all of this fun and friendship? He is right there with me. Enjoying the monkeys and the trees and embracing the friendships. I guess I should mention that the tree and the monkey friends are actually all female ministers - I also managed to speak to another three this week either in person or on the telephone! We are all trying to work out our callings in light of our femininity. We are all trying to be ourselves in a church that is dominated by male leadership but yet filled predominantly with females. A church that many men feel is effeminate. What can we bring to the church or perhaps more importantly what can we bring to those who feel rejected by the church, those who feel they don't fit in or those who feel the church is irrelevant? We bring ourselves - women who are searching for God's heart in our daily lives. Women who want to serve to the best of our ability. Women who are prepared to stand up and say, 'I am a women minister, called by God equipped to serve His church.' Two of us are still looking for a church where we can serve God and work out that calling.

WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF JO

Welcome to the world of Jo where spirituality and hilarity hold hands. Well at least that is the aim. Humour has always been important to me and whilst I am not a stand up comedian I do like to make people laugh. Humour can be enjoyed by all. Young or old, rich or poor and what ever our ethnicity. However what one person finds funny another does not. Humour can cause offence but it can also cross divides. Humour helps to build relationships. Indeed it is intrinsic to humanity. Where would we be if we couldn't laugh at ourselves on occasions?


But what of spirituality? Spirituality can be many things to many different people. It is not exclusive to the Christian and nor should it be. Spirituality is a search for something deeper. Be that God or something else to fill the gap. In the world of Jo spirituality is a search in which I endeavour to connect with God. I do this in many different ways but it normally involves prayer and reflecting on Scripture or perhaps a Christian book. Worship, nature, art, and interaction with friends are also important in my own spirituality.


Spirituality without humour seems dull to me. Why paint a picture with only half of the colours in the paintbox? Colour brings a painting to life and in the same way humour brings spirituality to life. In the world of Jo humour is painted a vibrant pink. Sometimes it just decorates the edges but most of the time it is the colour of the flower that is bursting into bud in the foreground of life.


I like to laugh and in the world of Jo spirituality and hilarity are inseparable. Humour is one of the ways that God uses to get my attention. Humour draws me closer to God. It reminds me of my humanity and that I am made in God's image. God likes to laugh and I like nothing better but to laugh with him. Not just a gentle chuckle but a full blown giggle and on occasion a real belly laugh. I hope that this blog will help you to explore your own spirituality and to laugh with me as I journey deeper in my own exploration of spirituality and hilarity. It may even be fun!