Tiredness

I feel so tired at the moment.  Its not really surprising seems I was up until 3.00am working on an essay.  I did intend stoping at 9.00pm but I seemed to get a second wind.  I'm not sure why I am such a night owl but I definately work better at night.  The downside is that I can't seem to get up much enthusiasm for working again today.  I have an essay deadline on Friday so I guess I will just have to knuckle down.  Perhaps more tea will help?  Or a little snooze?  Seems that I didn't get up untill 10.30am I think the tea will have to do.  I have already tried a sugar rush but the Jelly Babies seem to be sleeping as well. 

My journey to the cross is going well but I will be glad when I finally get there.  I have enjoyed studying for an MA but didn't realize how hard it would be when I started.  The work load shifts up a gear, expectations step up a gear... more is required of me.  And then we have the hunt to find the church that God is calling me to.  Life has been a juggling game since september.  A one handed juggling game at that having developed a repetative strain injury to my right hand. 

I have met some wonderful people in my search to find a church and have had a few laughs with John, my husband along the way.  Normally God makes it very clear where I am supose to be and what I am supose to be doing.  He has been less direct in my hunt for a church but his guidance has never the less been clear.  Although I can't help but think of a pinball machine where I am the ball that seems to be bouncing off the bumpers at a great rate of knots only to end up down the hole and have to start off all over again.  Sometimes I have actively sought the black hole as a place of safety, sometimes I have been spat out of the game and have no choice... but thats the game!  There have been a few bonus points gained and clearly I have learnt a lot about different churches and about myself in the whole process.  I think John's role in all this has been the plunger that you pull out to give the ball a flick in the right direction.  Sometimes I haven't really wanted to play the game and John has had to give me a kick in the right direction.  He is such a positive influence in my life - I really am truely blessed.

The curent game of pinball has been going on for a while and has been a very enjoyable game.  I am hoping not to fall down the black hole this time...